Reading log 1001 cool jokes

Animals

Term.1 2018

Author: Glen singelton.

#1 what do you do when you cross an elephant with a fish?  swimming trunks.

#2 what happened when the dog went to the flea circus?  he stole the show.

#3 what did the dog say when he was attacked by the tiger?  nothing, dogs don’t talk.

#4 how did the sunk phone his mother?  on the smellurphone.

#5 what do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel with a poodle?  Cockerpoodledoo.

#6 why are four legged animals bad dancers?  because they have two left feet.

#7 what dou you call a woodpecker with no beak?  a headbanger.

#8 what do you get when you cross a mountain lion and a parrot?  I don’t know, but when it talks. you had better listen.

#9 what do you get when you cross a chicken with a caterpillar?  Drumsticks for everyone.

#10 What do you call a lamb with a machine gun?  Lambo.

Dinosaurs

#1 what do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a vampire? A blood shortage.

#2 what do dinosaurs put on their french fries? Tomatosaurus.

#3 what’s extinct and works in rodeos? Broncosaurus.

#4 why did the dinosaur cross the road? What road?

#5 what do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My feet are saurus.

                     Miscellaneous

#1 How do you saw the see in half? with a see saw.

#2 What do Alexander the great and kermit the frog have in common? The same middle name.

#3 what’s the easiest way to get on tv? Sit on it.

#4 “Dad, can you see a change in me”? “No, why son”? Because I swallowed 20 cents.

#5 What did the penny say to the other penny? We make perfect cents.

Monsters”

#1 What’s green, sits in the corner, and cries? The incredible sulk!

#2 What’s a vampire's favourite dog? A bloodhound!

#3 What's chucky’s favourite pair of shoes? Chuck Taylor's (I made that one up)

#3 Who's Freddy krueger’s best friend? Freddie

What do you call…

#1 What do you call a man who likes to work out? Jim

#2…A girl with a tennis racket on her head? Annet

#3...A woman with a cat on her head? Kitty

#4...A woman with one leg? Eileen

#5...A boy hanging on the wall? A piece of art

#5...A man with a map on his head? Miles

#6...A man with a car on his head? Jack

#7...A man who owes money? Bill

#8...A man with a spade? Doug

#9...A man without a spade? Douglas

#10...A girl with a frog on her head? lily